matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
