he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
