she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
