so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
