4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
