belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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