I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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