I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
