im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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