I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
