I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
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