I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize