I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Did I show you my penis last night?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
