I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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