is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
