EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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