Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
