brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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