when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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