I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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