She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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