Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
