I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
