legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
