Me. At least after what I've been through.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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