Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
