Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
