I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize