I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
