3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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