Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
