So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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