I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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