i just google imaged poop.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We are two peas in an std pod
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
