So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
