Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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