butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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