And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
