They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
