stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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