Non-Jews are for practice
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
me + whiskey = a bad person
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize