Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
