We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
