I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
