I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
