This girl is more easily done than said...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
