You work out of a Hotel?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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