yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
