4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize