What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
