That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize