The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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