I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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