wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
