It's Friday. Sex?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
