Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize