she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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