i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
