If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
