dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
