I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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