Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
