Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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