we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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