What a fucking waste of an outfit
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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