I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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