sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think i have herpe
just one?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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