Just fell off a train. Bad.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
