So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
