so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize